Coming to terms

Hello. My name is Deanna and I am a reformed sugar-holic (also junk food but sugar was my kryptonite).

Don't get me wrong, for the majority of my life I have eaten pretty decently, my mother especially being into healthy eating, (she tried so many new things my brother and I lovingly refer to ourselves as mommy's favorite guinea pigs).

But somehow about a year and a half ago I found myself at 5'0" and 165 pounds. And while I'm adorable no matter what size that was not at all comfortable. It felt like constantly being under a heavy net, weighed down both figuratively and literally. For some reason my chest absorbed most of the weight so finding clothes became the bottom half being one size and the top being three sizes bigger, and really you might as well forget about zippers and buttons, those just pop open.

I've always had some health issues, the biggest of which being fibromyalgia which for me manifested primarily in headaches and overall pain as well as fatigue. Also chronic sinusitus, killer painful periods, and often yeast imbalance which I didn't realize until I found this great naturopath June Stephens who wound up starting my reform by putting me on a yeast free diet (but more about that later).

You would think that for someone who was used to being sick (I've pretty much had issues with all of the previously mentioned mishagosh my entire life) that I'd take better care with myself, but no.

At my worst I could for example down 4 thirstbusters (my favorite was pepsi!) in a day. Candy bars and burgers were my friends when I was out because honestly, always working left me just exhausted and not wanting to cook. When I was at home or around family healthy eating was easy because I didn't always have to make everything so about half my life was healthy the other just about the worst McDonalds commercial meets Snickers commercial that you could ever find.

It was easy to justify my food and beverage choices because of the following:

• oh so tired
• too close to my next appointment
• no time to cook
• I'd rather do something else with what little time I have
• Cheaper to buy fast food than organic, etc.  
• I "mostly" eat healthy

There were more than that, but those were the most frequent.

Its easy to justify anything given enough motivation but have you ever noticed it's harder to be lazy than to just do what you need to do to begin with? The need to be lazy takes work to figure out. Work to see how to get around it. Wiggle room. What would take 5 minutes to finish winds up taking an hour or two to get around. And usually it causes problems.

So my need to be lazy about my health definitely caused more problems. As of a year ago my health was at the worst its ever been and now I'm on the journey back to me. Currently I'm down to 120 (woohoo! lost 45 lbs), my fibromylagia rarely if ever causes me any more problems, barely any headaches anymore, the sugar fog has lifted and so many other things have progressed positively. I think this blog is going to be part of my therapy and hopefully me sharing can help other people. If nothing else we aren't alone :)